The wheel of life is….

Today I finally feel good enough to actually slave in the kitchen for several hours just to make pretzels! Yes, you’ve heard correct, P-R-E-T-Z-E-L-S…. Now some of you might be wondering, "why make it when you can get them from Auntie Anne’s down some shopping centres?" Well, first I’m not in USA, Singapore or Malaysia. I’m still in this freaking country called Switzerland and we don’t have Auntie Anne’s here. While the rest of the world has Starbucks ages ago, we only have them for 3 years… That’s right, only 3 freaking years. So needless to say about Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, KFCs, Nando’s, Auntie Anne’s etc. And there’s only one Hooter’s restaurant here and its at Interlaken (about 3 and half hours drive from my place). My point is that we’ll have to wait a long time for Auntie Anne’s or the rest to come here.

So back to the subject; cooking… The last time I remembered correctly when i really enjoy "slaving" in the kitchen was about 3 years ago. I was almost always, baking, steaming, frying, chopping, freezing etc. And boy did my science project got someone fat then!! hehehehe… I got almost all of the recipes off the Internet, from kuali.com to allrecipes.com. There’s thousands of similar recipes around, with different ingredients but most of them have almost similar methods and directions. The trick is to kinda experiment a little with ingredients like I did with the pretzels. Found 2 pretzel recipes (kuali.com and allrecipes.com) and improvise a little on the ingredients and the directions. After some kneading, folding, waiting for it to double in size, shaping and dipping, I managed to have the final results! there’s nothing like making something with your own hands and reap the wonderful (sometimes almost wonderful) reward. I think its the most satisfying feeling of accomplishment and a little bit of pride mixed in between.

Last week I made my first blueberry and raspberry yogurt ice-cream. It is edible but need a little improvement on the freezing process. The thing about cooking is that we’re allow to creative and logic (in terms of mixing and complimenting the ingredients). But if things go wrong, it makes us want to find out what and where it went wrong in the first place. Thus giving us the opportunity to solve the problem. Another element crucial to any of our kitchen "experiments" are our "test rats"! They have to give us honest answers (no pleasing the cook!) and we have to be open enough to receive criticisms. Think of it as a road to progress. It makes me motivated to try again the next time and to be good at it.

Cooking I think is a long term learning process and it takes interest (a lot of it) to be able to motivate us to be good at it. And to be really good at it takes lots of trial and errors, just like life (or part of it). But then again no one would admit to be really good at life isn’t it? For now I guess I’ll just keep on cooking up something defferent now and again. Who knows, I might come up with something orgininal?

Sometimes I wonder am I really happy as I seem to be at times? Well its one of those nights where I just can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I come to realized that I can’t seem to accept what and why I am! I’ve no regrets of the decision that I’ve made, the irony is that I sill want something more from the outcome of the decision. What is that something more? Well I certainly have no idea as I’m asking myself that question as well…

Take for example, me quitting my job. I have no regrets quitting the place the problem right now is that I’m asking myself, should I quit my job later than earlier? It seems that now I’m without work to go to besides the “work at home”, I’m feeling a little depressed and afraid. Depress because I don’t have fabulous jobs like my peers are working their asses of coz they get paid well to do it. Depress because I’m actually comparing my accomplishments with them when I know I shouldn’t coz each person is different and so called “special”. Depress because I can’t seem to be looking for a job hard enough like I should. Well in fact, when I do look for a job, very desperately, I’d always get my hopes (high hopes) come cashing down. So I’m not getting my hopes up any higher than normal this time around.

Then there’s the fear factor. Afraid that they will turn me down like before with a letter and a phone call. I know I’ll keep trying but you know, when you’ve sent applications after applications to companies asking for a job, they turn you down due to reasons hidden from you such as not wanting to hire foreigners, will only want cheap, inexperienced  and incapable staffs. But they all will come back with the same lines in those rejection letters; “unfortunately we are unable to hire you due to our company condition (read between the lines “your condition” may be?). But we wish you all the best in your search for employment”. I can understand if they are unwilling to hire foreigners; protecting their employment for the locals, but at least please come out straight with us job seekers. Pretty easy I should think; “we are unable to hire you due to our company’s economic reasons (means unwilling to pay for experienced and capable people). OR "we are unable to hire you due to your lack of experience or your nationality or working permit". IT may sound politically incorrect or have a lot of tact but at the very least come out clean about it rather than giving people false hope, like yours truly, who happens to apply to the same company but for a different and or same position this time!

Afraid that if and when I get too comfortable just “working” at home, I’d never be able to work outside again! I do envy people and friends who have any outside job. At least they’re doing something that pays the bills, buy a new house and or providing for the family income. Working at home will not pay off the bills, the new house and bringing in income unless you have kids, which in any case a rewarding task. I’m also afraid that family (especially the in-laws) and friends will judge me and say I depend solely on my hubby’s income. Not that hubby mind at all me staying home, its just my inner self telling me that I have things to do and personal goals to achieve.

Therefore I still can not accept the fact yet that I’m young and unable to secure employment! I will be happy, I hope, is when I’m fully employ, contributing to the benefit of society and my family. I still sending out my résumés and still getting rejection letters (or no answers at all) but at least I know that I’ve tried.

In the end I think, what we are and what we’ve become are for us to judge ourselves. The question is why are we so hard on ourselves? Do we have to measure one’s success by the job they hold and the material things they own? Or by having a loving family the supports decisions we make, no mater what the outcome is, will still see us as important contributor to the well being and happiness of the family and society? I’m still finding out the answer.

In light with recent events in dealing with in-laws; previous blog, "Compromise". I have them bombarding me with statements such as Malaysian economy is not growing, Malaysia needs to revamp public transportation, Malaysia is playing the race card game etc…. Then right now I’ve seen on line reports about the rising prices of fuels, how M’sians don’t really like to take the public transportation, how to cut back on spending etc…

It really sadden me to think that we have come to the state of actually having to report such stuff on the newspaper and on line on top of that! I of course being M’sian want to believe that our M’sian economy is going some where up but the real fact is that its just stays there, where it has been for the past 1 or 2 years. Its really anything but moving upwards at the present moment. Then we hear economist blaming the increase of fuel for the past year or so. Yes no doubt that the rising cost of fuel has something to do with as its also means that our cost of living is higher. But have anyone ever think that it GETS HIGHER EVERY PASSING YEAR? Things don’t go cheap (the reverse way) as we speak.

Why are we still kidding ourselves that things will be better when we as citizens of such nation aren’t actually doing enough to either realise that we’re no longer living in racial tensions of the yesteryear, that the government can only do so much, and that we need to stop complaining and take action? No doubt, I am Chinese by race but I am also first and foremost Malaysian. I really think we could just drop the "race" thingy in forms and just put nationality. No doubt its important to keep track of the development of each racial ethnic but can we just do it for national statistics? And what has race got to do with taking public transportation, the well being of our economy etc? It really irritates me when I hear people say I’m Chinese/Indian/Malay/ from Malaysia whenever people ask where are you from. I’d prefer at any rate I’m Malaysian end of story, coz it relate to the question "where are you from" NOT "which race are you" (unless they ask of course, which is seldom the case).

And to talk about public transportation in M’sia. whenever I get back I’m better off driving that is for sure. I’m very happy to pay extra as well for the fuel UNLESS they have reliable system where I know I won’t be waiting 1 and half hours for a freaking bus to go to the Commuter Station or even to Sunway from USJ!! I mean why can’t we have this time table system in places like PJ, Sunway, Subang, Shah Alam etc? It is the suburbs where most people live and will only go to KL for work. Why are we concentrating the LRT, monorail network only in KL area; Cheras, Taman Melawati etc? Aren’t we qualified enough to have excess to monorail and LRT if we live in say USJ, Taman Sri Muda etc? Or are we just too wealthy for such service? See to my thinking, if there is reliable services linking us from our homes to the KTM commuter, LRT or monorail stations we won’t be needing the car that much at all if we could get to and from work on time!How’s that for a change?

Do you know now London City (and another Scandinavian country) are charging motorists entering the city a fee and its called the congestion charges? Funds from these charges will be invested in public transportation, it terms of betterment of the infrastructure, more buses, trams etc. This is a really good idea to reduce congestion and to actually "force" encourage people to use the public transport, bicycles, motorcycles or the "bus number 11".

I really think what has become of Malaysian economy, public transport system and the congestion in PJ and KL area is the own doing of us M’sian. I would say buck up or get left behind for the world is constantly moving forward…

What is compromise? Well for one it is a settlement of differences agreed upon after concessions, according to a dictionary. We do compromise in our everyday lives as it is but somehow I find it incredible that most of the time, we are to be ignored completely by family members for concessions especially when it involves taking a holiday as a family or doing things as a family!

Take for example, me. Recently while we went back to see hubby’s beloved sisters, brother and brothers-in-law during the CNY celebration, one them suggested that we take a summer vacation together this year. So as all "elders" make their decision that June was the best time for everyone, my hubby managed to not even ask me if I was OK about it!?! So being as gracious as possible I told him (hubby) that I’m not going as I have to sit for my language exam in June. Now did I say why the "elders" make June the best time? This is just because of this one brother with such "an important job" that he has told them that he has to do a budget for work etc and the only time he has is in June. OK work is important but to me my exam is important as well. It may not mean anything to them but it certainly means something to me!! To make matters more interesting, one of his sisters is actually trying to make her hubby comply with it, as he (my brother-in-law) can’t seem to be able to take time off then.

The thing is, as human we try to conform when and if we could to be accepted into whatever society/family/associations/firm etc as it gives us a sense of belonging and acceptance. But I think part of acceptance is also compromising. But then again, too much comprising also gets in a way of being ourselves naturally especially in the presence of family-in-laws. So in my case I believe that I won’t mind compromising to a certain level where we could find a ourselves on the same (or make that almost the same) frame work which we could all agree upon. Its always seems easier said than done, but at the very least we tried. And tried I did. I find that its really waste of my time trying to compromise with people who are either self-centred, stubborn, and or don’t listen/understand. So what I did was just shut up, act stupid and don’t give in (not necessary in that order either). We can be nice at times but being too nice gets us bullied over nothing! Now where is the fairness in that?

And I’m still not going for summer vacation with them! Call it what you want, I’d rather finish my exam and have a quiet time alone or with friends than being bored out of my wits and act unnatural amongst his family.

Sleep. The one word which gives one relaxation and rest, be it night or day. And its also the one thing that I’m getting enough of. You know when you can’t sleep at night, you just lie in bed looking up the ceiling and then your brain start to wonder off doing the one thing; THINKING! Its not just thinking about how to get back to sleep but thinking about really weird stuff and stuff that just provokes you…

The other night (as usual can’t sleep), I was thinking about getting my hair coloured pink….. Why pink? Don’t know why… Then I started to think about how annoying Swiss tax laws are and how expensive it is for me to live here as a family even. Its no wonder I’m getting all these small white hairs springing out from my scalp like mushrooms! Am I just thinking too much while not getting enough sleep? Or is it that I’m ageing….. Ageing or not I’m pretty determine to just lie there in bed until sleep conquer me preferably by 1am. But then IT IS difficult blocking away thoughts running wild in the middle of the night and while you try very hard not to wake your significant other (with your tossing and turning).

I’ve read somewhere that we humans do not get enough sleep due to our busy schedules. Having not enough sleep can also be dangerous. Accidents occur due to tiredness. We may be irritated at the slightness of things and our brains aren’t that alert. And yet having too much sleep IS also dangerous to our health. According to most "sleep research scientists" (I’d love to do this TYPE of research!), people who do at least 6 to 7 hours of sleep live longer than those go do more than 8 hours a night.

So I guess people who just love to sleep (I know who you are!) will die younger?!? Man, I’m already setting my alarm clock earlier than usual (for just 6 hours of sleep). That is IF I can sleep tonight!!! ZZZZzzzzzzz……

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006!!

With the coming of the last moment on 31st December 2005, suddenly I thought of the things that I will do and am going to do it for sure for the coming year.. Talk about last minute resolution! Here they are, which ever comes first to mind and in no particular order….

• Take care of my health in which I’ve been neglecting for the past 2 years of hectic work schedule; eat healthily diet and exercise more (something I can’t seem to find time doing). And try to avoid falling sick like last year! arrgghhh… Worst is having the same flu symptoms for a month……
• Call home more often! Having my youngest sister moving out of our home, makes me worried about my parents even more… So have to make it a point to call home at least once a week. And try to save up some "dough" for the trip home… I really blame the Bush for the hike of oil prices!
• Polish up my French language (and may be take up German?!). Since my job prospect really depends on it.
• Look for a better paying job and one which the boss appreciates my work! Important supply for the trip home and for the sanity of my mental health…
• Hope to travel more; Prague (for the sights), Frankfurt (to see family), Ibiza (to party hard), Rome, Milan (for the sights and of course some shopping), Crete Island, Sarawak, Bali (close to nature) etc…. In which can’t be achieved without having a job….

No doubt we make resolutions every year but do we all seem to be following or making sure that we do them? Its kinda hard to say but I really hope that my resolutions are realistic enough for me to see them through…. "But then again there’s always next year " as according to most of my friends….

But here’s something that I truly wish all of my friends and family to have for the coming year ahead and also for always is GOOD HEALTH, LOTS OF LOVE, RESPECT, JOY AND HAPPINESS… I can’t think of anyone living without any of those good ingredients to life. To those attached, may you fall in love even further with each other and may your children bring you closer. The unattached ones, no worries to find "the one".. Plenty of time! Have a little patience and try not to be to "desperado"…

Well taking about not getting sick, I am feeling a little bit sick liow with flu… AGAIN!!! ARRGGGGHH….. What a way to begin a new year eh?

Its on the news (CNN) about 24/7 ow and I couldn’t help wondering what started it…. Hubby says that it started when 2 guys "thought" that the police was chasing after them and hide out in the power substation(very "smart" guys!). And in the end got electrocuted by accident! In fact the police wasn’t even looking for or even chasing after them! Then by twist of fate, the riots started when French interior minister called to "clean out scums" in suburbs of Paris, where unemployment and social problems are currently sky high. Well shall I say that the choice of words here is not what I say people need to hear right now. I mean come on! Scums? There’s been enough tensions and frustrations here for years. Now with that kind of statement, I don’t really blame people getting angry!

But why do they need to vent this type of frustration by rioting? And on top of that, its happening not only in Paris suburbs but around the country as well. I really think this is organised crime. My hubby thinks the same way as well. Why organised crime? I mean, really… Think about it…. there has been Molotov cocktails prepared, copycat riots happening around the country,

Unemployment happens every where right now. Why resort to riots to solve the problem? And why is it that most of the time when there’s a bad case happening there’s some middle eastern, eastern block or even north African people involved? Now I’m not being racist here. Have you ever wonder what its like living with people who acts like he owns the world (arrogant, uncivilised people). It makes me afraid to even want to talk to them, let alone EMPLOY them!?! Now if I were the employer, I don’t know if they are doing drugs (selling or using), harassing my clients or my other staffs, or even bring their outside "problems" to work.

And about discrimination, happens every where as well, even in Switzerland, mind you. Being the "neutral" country as it is, expect every new comers to "take in" the civic laws and the language (Swiss German, Italian or French, depends on the region) once they arrive. Now its already hard to adapt in a country already foreign, but also harder to adapt overnight! "But people don’t change overnight!" you may say… Well what I really think is that, people can change, of course not overnight…. Either way, for me why stay if you don’t like the policies made out to protect the people, be it immigrants, born there or not, or the citizens of so and so country? If the kitchen is to hot to handle, get out while you still can right?

So I think its better that both parties (the government and the immigrants) change their prospectives. I for one believe that things CAN work out when both parties sit down and talk about solving the problem instead of creating new ones, i.e. the riots. Differences can be set aside on these talks. What is done is done, one must look forward for a better future not a bleaker ending…. Changes has to be made for the better, be it intagrating into the society, get the dream job you want or even peace on earth!

P.S: I’m really glad that Malaysia has gone past this riot issue a long time ago! And I am PROUD TO BE A MALAYSIAN!

I’ve been asked many times by friends how in the world did both my husband and I got hitched the first time. For the record, we meet online. (THANK YOU ICQ!) Well its funny because people who ask me this question seem to be most of the time is lost in meeting that special someone….

And when they do meet someone, they’ll be thinking that perhaps he/she is "THE ONE". I mean why do we have to think about this every single time we meet someone new on a date? Why do we have to judge this person by their looks, behaviour etc based on OUR criteria to find Mr. Right or Mrs. Right?

Besides do we REALLY KNOW at all how or WHATS our CRITERIA? I mean think about it? Most of the time we ladies (sorry guys! no take from men as I’m not a MAN!) base some part of our criteria on our "the only favourite" man of our life, our fathers. Look around us… Like yours truly, got hitched with a guy whose a tat bit boring (like my dad) and have few words (so that I could fill in for him!)… lol…. ahem….. May be not THAT FEW after you get to know him REALLY WELL, that is…

And then there’s this talk about the "chemistry" or even "sparks" that "fly" when you meet the special someone. But what actually happens when like the olden days people don’t meet face to face until their wedding night?!?! Does "sparks fly" for them as well? For which I don’t think so, at all. I think these couples that did survive growing old together "grow" to love one another, through the ups and downs of life. And I really respect THAT! So I guess that being together means that we pull each other closer through the laughter and sadness, through sickness and health, for richer or poorer….

At times I do wonder if people thought things through BEFORE saying things out loud… Recently there’s this "scenario" at my work place where I’ve made a comment about how people from different places celebrate their come of age birthdays. Now correct me if I’m wrong, back home (Malaysia) we celebrate our 21st birthdays rather than 18th. Now why 21st you may ask? Its because we register as voters at 21, allowed into discos/watering holes/casinos etc at 21 (well if all night spots follow this rule!) and we’re treated as adults at 21 (well young adult anyways).

Now this colleague of mine from China said that well why not 18 to go to karaoke pubs/discos? Her "logic" is that teenagers at age has started working and they have the buying power. Well buying power doesn’t make your age legal right? And then started this thing about religion; that’s coz Malaysia is a Muslim country, they said. Well apparently in most countries legal drinking age is 18 (16 for Switzerland), consensual sex (gay or hetero) at 18 (16 in most countries e.g. UK), going into pubs etc is 18 (in all countries), joining the army at 17/18 (all countries), pornography at 18 (all countries). That makes 18 in most countries to do almost all adult stuff.

But then again we’re bound to the laws of the country that we’re currently living right? Personally I don’t think the question of religion has any thing to do with legal age at all. Plus I don’t really think that at age 16, we’re rational enough to think about having sex or even to drink alcohol. Its really wayyyyyy to young. And with teenage pregnancies, drunk/drugged up teenagers, drinking to death hazards on the rise in most countries, I really think that even though there are law stating what are the legal age, what really boils down is really the way that kids are brought up that really matters. It is the parents who are responsible for the upbringing of their children. How their child approach these things/topic will really reflect on the teachings of their parents.

And buying power really have nothing to do with legal age! I may be a rich kid at 14 but its still not legal for me to get a beer then right? As far as I’m concern, religion is not on the list when they thought of legal age during the drafting of  the laws…. Really I think this age factor is a long debate…

Just recently I’ve got me self a new accessory i.e. new laptop.. Well sorry girls, its not a new handbag or some new make-up item like the rest. Those stuff are expensive here and its really not worth my money to follow the trend these days. Anyways, my other IT smart half (yes I’m the dumber IT half) decide to "plug and play" the wireless set at home so I don’t need to move the wires around. Nice thought no? hehehehe…

Going wireless around our apartment has so much freedom now! I mean I could even send an email while doing the "big one" in the toilet! hahaha…. Well thank goodness the other side don’t have to smell what’s in store from my toilet! eeiikkkssss! Now I really think that its high time that some of us heavy Internet users at home get wireless technology. What’s the point of moving cables around the house when either one family member could trip and hurt themselves right?

Desktops and laptops now are so much more affordable now compared with several years ago. What I think is that with technology stuff, prices goes up once they’re first launch. But times goes by (about 6 months after product launching), prices goes down as new sub-products replaces the first model.

Now its not that I’m actually encouraging people to rush out of their homes to get a new desktops/laptops with wireless connection. Its just that we as consumers most of the time scum to temptations of buying into technology features that we either don’t understand or don’t even use it! I am such person, thank goodness my significant other pulls me back to earth!

So figure out what you really need and go through the pros and cons of the said feature first BEFORE buying anything. Otherwise you’ll end up with an unused advance feature item (coz you hardly ever click it on your pc) and a really big hold in your wallet!